Cluster B Personality Disordered Woman’s Guide to Conflict Resolution Process Flow Diagram
Thanks to Verbal, we have another community member generated diagram that illustrate how many men experience conflict with their wives, girlfriends or exes. The print may be difficult to read, so please click on the image, which will take you to an image page. Click the image again to view a larger version of it.
Perhaps Verbal will provide some additional commentary below. This diagram employs a little gallows humor, so if that’s not your cup of tea, apologies in advance.
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37 Responses to “Cluster B Personality Disordered Woman’s Guide to Conflict Resolution Process Flow Diagram”
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This chart is great! Well for those that can’t see that there is no winning against a Cluster B anyway. I’d love to see this further expanded by dropping it into the cycle of abuse. Because we all know that “end process” is not the end this happens over and over again in the abusive relationship.
lol
Thanks for posting this, Dr. T.
I intentionally made the decision making process nonsensical in places. Because it fits “them”.
For those who can’t read the tiny text on the left, it says, “Patent Pending. Your results may vary. Do not operate heavy machinery. Void where prohibited. It’s all your fault.”
I wish I were able to post a larger version of it. I tried but it screws up the margin formatting. If you click on it and then click on the subsequent image, it will take you a a full size version of it.
If anyone would like the original Powerpoint, PM me at the legacy shrink4men forum with your e-mail and I’ll send you a copy.
I would like one – but I am not sure how to contact you. My husband and I were going over it and can’t make out two of the phrases in the circle.
E-mail me at verbalswill63@yahoo.com
I am so jealous that you and hubby can enjoy something like this together. I envision both of you having adult conversations about differences and getting to the point where you can have a rollicking good time laughing about the differences and follies of man v. woman.
Right now we’ve got the cold war started up again over something inconsequential. She’s watching her unending 24/7 cooking shows while playing unending 24/7 computer solitaire and I’m trying to make sense of what just happened.
Hubby, reach out and give wifey a hug and a kiss for being able to really communicate. I’ll bet you realize that there is probably a female version of the flowchart.
BTW, I’m also in Florida. Gotta love these winters in how it doesn’t stay cold for long.
If you are talking to me, I live in MN now. My husband is up here till his kids are old enough to make their own decisions and we are moving back to Florida – where we grew up together.
While we do laugh about some of this stuff, it is usually a sad laugh. We deal with a woman like this on a continual basis. The hardest part for me is watching him and the kids go through it. He bears the brunt of it, but it hurts to see his pain. We do a lot of laughing in general, about other things. We play a lot of games together (just not the head kind), and we spend time together — and alone. We are both from previously abusive relationships. We’ve both been there. I’m just thankful that my ex and I didn’t have kids together so I was able to sever those ties. I am thankful he had kids with his ex. They are great kids and we have made a family together. I’m just not glad for all the chaos she causes.
Didn’t mean to ramble on – sorry about that. You are right – there probably is a female version of this flowchart. I could actually apply a lot of this stuff to my ex.
Well done, Verbal!
It was a sadly-knowing laugh, but a good laugh, nonetheless.
I didn’t think it was actually possible to map out what it was like to live with my ex, but I think you’ve managed to do it!
There is a whole bunch more stuff I could have added, particularly with Projection, but I basically ran out of room and things were tiny enough already.
have you considered turning this into a board game?
Projection. It’s not just a room in the back of a theater. I made that up.
Great job, Verbal! I really enjoyed the humor.
I agree with Kev: this would make a great board game.
What do you get if you “win” the board game? Your freedom? Your sanity? What does she get if she wins? Just wondering. I see it as a combo of the old board game Life and Chutes and Ladders.
I think it’s a little like the movie “War Games”: the only way to win is to not play.
It’s a game, but the problem is one doesn’t know it was a game until it’s over. To be clear, George Carlin’s comedy piece on The American Dream explains the it: if you substitute “politicians” or “they” or “the people in power” with your particular Cluster B significant other: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acLW1vFO-2Q
I think it would actually be a cool ‘game’ for men’s group therapy sessions…you know, get the competitive juices flowing, while also being ‘allowed’ to laugh about what they’ve been through…that’s if any of them can make it out of the house long enough to attend a meeting without being accused of going to a man’s meeting for a gay orgy!!
I’d say whoever gets out of the game wins! Like as in being a quitter means you get to keep your B*lls (which would be a kind of cool gamepiece)!!
And for everyone who plays, there IS a way to win.
like “the old board game of Life and Chutes and Ladders” — with all the goodness of Russian Roulette! At least that’s how it feels.
I think there could be an entire flow chart just on projection, and if you need a case study, I nominate my husband’s exBPD. Oh, and when all else fails, throw in a big dose of hyper-religiosity and invoke the name of God (or Jesus, depending on the holiday season) as a form of intimidation. That is a typical final blow before the hang-up.
Amen, Brother! (or sister…sorry..couldn’t tell)
vo
Mother Figure…big into God / Jesus / judgment (which is supposed to be reserved for our creator, not people)…made us attend church every Sunday and listen to the “Jesus station” on the radio…was superintendent of the Sunday School and directed all the Christmas Programs…played organ…involved in the ladies guild…maybe that’s why Church People scare me!
Hi Everyone,
Just changed the link on the image, so that if you click on it once, it will take you to a larger version of it.
I was just wondering how my XHPD got the flow chart she used everyday posted
on the site?
Perhaps add a feature that each movement causes a spinning and shrinking motions that gets smaller and smaller as your life spins out of control and starts vanishing to nothing and eventually shrinks to nothing. Or a bawdy version associated with a flushing.
No no no MDS…the way the figure would work is that they’d be two balloons, one for her ego, the other for yours. With each spin her ego balloon grows and yours gets more and more crowded out and deflated. Game is over either when your balloon goes limp (you lose) or when you figure out the secret to winning: get out.
I have just sent a copy of the powerpoint version to everyone who wrote to my e-mail address and requested it. Enjoy!