9 Responses to “Shrink4Men Radio Monday, October 3, 2011: The Siren Song of Crazy, Toxic and Abusive Women with Guest Shari Schreiber of GettinBetter.com”


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  1. Irishgirl

    “Are you a rescuer who rescues rescuers?” Wow good question…I think so…

    • Dr Tara J. Palmatier

      Yeah, didn’t get into that topic as I’d hoped. I may do a follow-up to this show on my own. I had a lot of points that we didn’t cover that I would like to do in the radio format.

  2. exscapegoat

    Sounds like an interesting program. I hope to tune in, or will at least check out the webcast. I definitely have rescuing the rescuer tendencies.

  3. david

    S4M and GettinBetter were the two sites that opened my eyes to it all. Without them, I may have lost so many good things in my life. Be tuning in for sure.

  4. B Experienced

    A lot of psycho therapists in the field are pathological rescuers as well. This only reinforces the public’s and their client’s pathology. They are supposed to be getting their needs for love met in their own life and maintaining a professional relationship with their clients. However, this often spills over into their work with their clients. Any kind of therapist who has this poor of a professional boundary and can’t control their own need for love is one that you should be running from. They tend to be the hugging, feel good at any cost type of therapist who can be both excessively giving and needy themselves. They tolerate abuse or rationalize it all in the name of what they call love.

  5. sherlock

    Thanks for sharing, very intresting.

    Keep up the great work Dr.T & Shari Schreiber. I don’t think I have to say that you guys have help thousands of men to understand better their situation and overcome obstacles that literally has been a living hell for many of us.

    • Dr Tara J. Palmatier

      Thanks, Sherlock.

    • Nick

      In living hell is where I’m at. This is my first ever experience writing anything on any blog for any reason. I’m too embarrassed to confide in anyone. Compounded by my work as a performer I am in the public eye most of the time making it even more difficult for any deep friendships. She moved in with me 2 1/2 yrs ago w/her now 17yr old son. I left a relationship to be with her, and she never lets me forget that. She doesn’t trust me – ever. Constantly accusing me of “keeping doors cracked open” for my potential ex-lovers as well as new ones. I have had my previous years “playing”, and I have absolutely no desire for anything else other than to have us work out fully; with fun, wild lovemaking, spiritual consortment, sharing, communication, and mostly trust. I’ve been pounded so hard for so long about where she wrongly thinks my head is, I’ve caught myself doubting my own character. I’ve given this woman my entire heart. We argue to screaming pitch almost instantly whenever either one of our integrity is questioned by the other. She has lied to me more than once. Yesterday I’ve only yesterday learned shes been in contact with her ex-boyfriend fairly regularly for years now. (We dated for 3 years before she moved in). She has tirades way worse than the video link I viewed on your sight. I’m burned out from screaming back in defense of my own character. I actually put ear plugs or a headset on with music while she goes off. She “spins out” regularly at full throttle for over an hour, screaming the most cutting, degrading, untruths about me. There are no drugs or involved. I sometimes leave the house and walk. She attends my shows and actually interferes with my work, and all the while she appears to have the utmost in grace to everyone around her. Very eloquent speaker, appearing to others to be of great support to me. Constantly smiling, and constantly, subtlety flirting. We have similar violent/sexual abuse chidhoods, and there has been previous times where we were both violent towards each other. It is obvious to me this is toxic yet I’m vacillating between taking all of her things to her car, parents, and/or ex-boyfriends house while shes at work, and cutting off all ties, or confronting her about me recently finding out about her contacting her ex-boyfriend. The 17yr old hasn’t been staying here much lately,(imagine that), and I would be welcoming him to finish out his school year here, should he desire. I’ve been avoiding her for fear of a huge fight and possible violence. I cannot communicate with her at all. She constantly interrupts, takes over the conversation, finishes my thoughts/feelings/sentences inaccurately. I rarely feel I am being received. Yet this is crazy – I want this to work out. Our times of sharing are beyond exquisite. Strangers have approached us to comment on what a wonderful in love couple we are. I’ve only scratched the surface. Could sincerely use an objective opion. I’m sure I already know the answer. Have I lost myself here – where to begin?

  6. Tdiane

    aaagh! I just started work and missed this. So catching up tonight.

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