Dr. Drew Pinsky Says Kim Kardashian Committed Domestic Violence Against Kris Humphries
Full disclosure. I am not a fan of Kim Kardashian or any of the other Kardashians. I have never watched an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. I will never watch an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians or any spin-offs in the Kardashian “oeuvre.”
I have zero interest in celubutantes who ride on their rich father’s and/or family’s coattails and become “famous for being famous.” They’re much ado about nothing if you ask me.
Kim Kardashian and her ilk call to mind what Katharine Hepburn said about Sharon Stone when she shot to fame after Basic Instinct became a hit:
It’s a new low for actresses when you have to wonder what’s between her ears instead of her legs.
So why am I writing about Kim Kardashian?
On a recent episode of Dr. Drew Pinsky’s show, Dr. Drew aired a clip from the Kardashian sisters’ reality series, Kourtney & Kim Take New York, in which Kim Kardashian takes a swing at her recently estranged husband, Kris Humphries of the New Jersey Nets.
Dr. Drew states, in no uncertain terms, that what takes place in the video below is female perpetrated domestic violence:
embedded by Embedded Video
YouTube DirektDr Drew says Kim Kardashian committed domestic violence against Kris Humphries
Dr. Drew emphatically says at 0:31, “What you are seeing there is domestic violence.” Apparently, this was a matter of some debate amongst Dr. Drew’s producers and production staff who argued that Kim Kardashian throwing a punch at Kris Humphries was just “play.”
Would it have been considered just “play” or a “joke” if Humphries had taken a swing at Kardashian? Of course not.
I am sick and tired of how some women and men continue to condone violence perpetrated by women. Violence is violence. It is not “funny” or “cute” or “play” when a women does it. If men are expected to take oaths to never perpetrate violence against women (never mind the fact that most men don’t commit violence against women with or without taking an oath), then women need to hold themselves to the same standard.
Dr. Drew believes the video of Kim Kardashian hitting Kris Humphries is a big deal. I agree. Especially since Kardashian’s target audience are impressionable tweens, teens and young women. Hitting your husband or boyfriend is not play; it is violence.
At 1:37, Dr. Drew says the following about domestic violence:
Size and gender doesn’t matter.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hal-lay-hay-loo-hoo-yah!
This was a much needed factual and emotionally corrective experience after watching the Dr. Phil episode in which Dr. Phil McGraw claims that men can never be abused by women because men are bigger and stronger. This is the same episode in which Dr. Phil claims that when a man is abusive, it’s domestic violence, and that when a woman is violent and abusive, it’s a “relationship issue.”
And then, at 2:12, Dr. Drew loses me.
He states that it isn’t okay when Humphries grabs Kardashian’s arm to stop her incoming blows. That is self-defense, not domestic violence. Everyone, men and women, have the right to defend themselves from being assaulted no matter the gender of the assailant. Humphries did not hurt Kardashian. He did not appear to use unreasonable force. He was fending off her attack. Self-defense.
Nevertheless, Dr. Drew’s commentary seems to be a huge step forward. A mainstream television personality/psychiatrist and his sidekick female psychologist both publicly stated that Kim Kardashian throwing a punch at her husband, Kris Humphries, is domestic violence. Perhaps it’s not much in the big scheme of things, but it’s a start and I’ll take it.
Here’s the altercation frame by frame:
Who would have thought Amber Portwood of Teen Mom and Kim Kardashian had something in common besides being “reality stars?”
What do you think? Do you think this is an instance of domestic violence?
Shrink4Men Coaching and Consulting Services:
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66 Responses to “Dr. Drew Pinsky Says Kim Kardashian Committed Domestic Violence Against Kris Humphries”
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It’s about freaking time.
I realize that there’s a lot of inequality on both sides of the line, but I’d also like to think that there are some big, obvious things that we can all agree on.
Chopping off the body parts of your significant other and then stuffing them down a garbage disposal, for instance. That’s pretty much always bad and horrifying and not funny, no matter who does it, right? Hauling off and belting your significant other because they accidentally stepped on you is always inappropriate and wrong and an overreaction, no matter who does it, right?
I have a lot of trouble watching most television these days because of all the negative stereotypes on both sides. From the ads that portray all men as infantile dolts who can’t tie their shoes to the other ones that normalize, violent, authoritarian, caprcious, or stalkerish tendencies in women.
I especially hate all of these talk shows and whatnot where the Oprahs and Dr. Phil’s of the world get spew their double-standard nonsense. All it does is perpetuate things and make them worse.
So, hooray for Dr. Drew for at least telling it (mostly) like it is. And I agree with Dr. T in being less than thrilled for saying that Kris Humphries was at fault here. All he did was grab her to keep her from hitting him anymore. He didn’t hit her back, or push her, or anything seemingly aggressive.
But I do like the message that if you attack someone else, regardless of their gender or yours, it’s wrong. That’s a good start.
*picks up his soapbox and slinks away*
Hi Memnoc,
No need to slink away with your soapbox. You raise some very valid points.
Amen! I agree Memnoc is is about freaking time and it’s nice to see the message that gender and size doesn’t matter. It would have been nice if he hadn’t have said all the bs about Kris being at fault for anything. I guess Dr. Drew believes Men can be abused (better than Dr. Phil’s mindset) but that they have no right to self defence. But what do I know? As depicted on tv I’m just an imbecile who only exists because smart women save me from my own dangerous self everyday. Thanks for posting Dr. T. It’s a shimmer of light in the tunnel of “men are the abusers” culture we live in.
If a man throws a punch at me, I’m not going to grab his arm…I’m going to belt him. Repeatedly. This is where self-defense gets a little/lot dicey relative to a female attack. A man really can ONLY walk away, and that is a good thing. In this Kardashian example, this man could be locked up. It’s takes very little to bruise a womans arm by grabbing it. Particularly if she is resisting and still trying to hit. This guy is in a no win situation because he grabbed her arm. At that point he is toast. Period. Actually, he was toast the minute he met this sorry ass excuse of a human being. This shit makes me boil.
Yeah you’re right chester. I guess a man’s only option is to exit stage left. It’s kinda sad we can’t even defend ourselves without opening ourselves up to assault charges. This is exactly why men have to pay attention to micro-expressions and red flags they see in women in their lives. It disgusts me what I see on TV these days- violent teen moms abusing their bf’s and even their own mothers; the misandry in prime time tv and ads. It’s just depressing.
A friend of mine (well, former friend, because his wife is crazy and he himself has proved to be violent) used to tell me about his wife hitting and punching him. He said he didn’t hit back because she was a woman. But, he said, if she ever hit his face, he’d say, “You’re not a woman,” and hit back. He said no judge in the state would convict him because they know you don’t hit a man in the face. But this guy is considerably larger than his wife, and could do a lot of damage to her. The laws I found on self-defense said to not go beyond reasonable force. I fear that if he does ever get to this point, he’ll find he’s wrong, and end up in jail for killing his wife. And he almost ended up in jail already, for nearly killing his daughter….So yeah, self-defense is necessary, but if a man uses excessive force with his wife, she could end up dead. The only way out of this situation is to leave before it ever gets to that point.
That what I had to do…my wife would get so out of control she would swing, throw anything she saw at me….she was a fierce fighter…..Anyway going through this nasty divorce and of course I am the bad guy and not tough enough to handle a little women…….the last time we got into it one of us was going to the pen the other was going to be dead…..I checked in to the la Quinta and filed the next day…I still get crap from the old friends telling me to man up…Heck it hurts to get hit by a guitar…major problem I my son saw that and believes that the way you handle conflict….his friends have even told him that his dad was wrong to leave mom over a little pushing around and that everyone does it……He daughter has gone to jail for pulling a knife on her husband….this stuff runs in families no doubt. I cost me a half a million dollars but the best money I have ever spent……I have my life back…..getting hit really sucks and is not love..
It’s happened to me three times in my 20 year marriage. I recently became so enraged with my wife I threw a hat against the wall near her. it was wrong and I should taken the obligatory walk around the block, but I choose a different path. Wrong wrong wrong…..however, I have been attacked in full view of her whole family (that was a violent hair pulling and yelled at over….a folding chair), a all out nightime sneak attack, and a lunge/grab move in…..or marraige counselors office…..Yeap!
When I brought these unmentionaible incidents up recently, I was scolded to ‘Stop being an F’ing baby”!
All she needs is a can of beer and a “husband beater tee shirt” to go with that comment.
Everyone, I regret the hat incident so much, but I never layed a hand on her. Yet the shame is so great.
If i pulled her hair in front of my whole family i wouldn’t be writing this. I’d been divorced long ago or in a federal insitution belonging to the guy with most cigarretts.
I have always liked Dr. Drew. Did not always agree with him but he is clearly not an idiot and can back up what he says. I would love to see him go head to head with Dr. Phil. I’m thinking cage match. Maybe throw Dr. Phil in with some crazed, border line nut jobs and let him tell us it is not abuse.
I mean Dr. Phil got his start on Oprah…what did you expect?
Almost had to go on the Oprah show. I am ever thankful to the records clerks in my shop for making that phone call go away.
One thing that I agreed with Dr. Drew on was when he defended himself by saying that by commenting on a person’as behavior as being BPD, Psychopathic or whatever isn’t unethical. It is part of their ethics to teach the public about pathology. I hate when shrinks try to tell others not to diagnose or they have to see the person first before they can comment. It’s okay when you tell them about your problem and are right, but you can’t accurately depict another person’s problem? Bull. This only keeps the element of power in the shrinks arena and holds power over their clients or patients; which is dangerous given the amount of narcissistic and psychopathic licensed people in the field there are. Besides that, you have the right to learn about your psychological problems or Mental Illness just as you do your physical ones. Diagnosing for the most part really isn’t brain surgery when taught correctly. Besides that, a lot of shrinks nowadays make huge mistakes everyday in diagnosing and cause great harm in doing so. I have seen or heard of people being told they were psychotic when they were irrational and not psychotic. BPD when they really had Bipolar I Illness. Their kids taken away because of OCD irrational fears. It is a nightmare out there. I myself haven’t met a Social Worker yet who is trained that well on diagnosing. They tend to attribute pathology to normal behaviors or ignore real pathology. Their lack of clarity and distinction was alarming. They overrated their competency level as well. Wannabes at best. In New York State only a licensed Psychiatrist is allowed to diagnose Schizophrenia and yet some Social Workers still do. They don’t get in trouble for it either and it is illegal. There is good reason for that. The Psychiatrists draw blood work to rule out drugs or untreated venereal diseases such as Syphilis for starters before they make a differential diagnosis.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure the wife of my ex-friend has BPD or some other such disorder. But am I likely to find out what a doctor thinks about this? No. It is, however, important for my own mental health to determine if the things she said about and to me have any validity, or if it’s a disorder talking.
I know that her mother *has* been diagnosed with a few things, and that she has picked up some things from her mother. I know–thanks to the whole argument being posted online on a game forum while it was happening–that she treated another ex-friend exactly the same way she treated me, only over a web game. It was all there: her imagining a slight where there was none, her crazy-making behavior, her starting a smear campaign that made her target sound like the crazy one, then him finally throwing up his hands and dumping his friendship with her and my ex-friend. I know the things I’ve seen her do to her husband and kids, and the things he’s told me about.
And one day last year, I actually saw her hanging half her body out the passenger side window of their van, while her husband was driving along the street. I saw it because they passed right by me while I was walking. If that’s not a symptom of a mental disorder, then what is it?
Hi Kay,
I believe her behavior is BPD because of how emotionally labile she is.
She has hooked you somehow and is playing with your mind because you stated that it is important for your own Mental Health to know if what she has said it true or not. The best way to deal with that is to plan a defense if she is spreading something you said that is true about you and then move on. As hard as that may be, it is the best way to stop letting her have power over you.
A lot of BPD’s threaten to jump out of cars or really do. I don’t see it in the professional literature but I consider that level of masochism psychopathy. If they pushed another person out of a moving car without empathy and were cold and unemotional then it would be psychopathy, but if they lack empathy for themselves and self harm it isn’t psychopathy. That is nonsensical to me.
Yeah, she has this way of twisting things that really happened so that the other person looks like the Devil, no matter how much you try to tell her your motives were not what she thinks, or point out her own misdeeds. Like the guy she raged at on the game forum. She got so much into my head that I’ve been trying to get her out of it practically as long as I’ve known her.
My “therapy” has been writing about it, researching BPD and narcissism, and trying to sort out fact from disorder-fueled fiction. But the memory of her hanging from that window–It’s almost like God provided me with this chance encounter so I would have a way to prove to myself that I’m not the crazy one. I hope to soon be able to say what Sarah said to the Goblin King: “You have no power over me.” 
How about Dr. Drew, Dr. Phil, and Dr T go head to head without the “crazed, border line nut job”. I am confident Dr T would equate herself very well if bluster head (Dr. Phil) would keep his mouth shut. I may start a letter campaign to get Dr. T on Dr. Drew’s show.
It’s Domestic Violence without a doubt. I myself am sick of hearing how a man shouldn’t grab her arm to stop a woman from hitting him. Come on now. What is he supposed to do? A friend of mine had his BPD wife pull a knife on him. When he grabbed her arm he bruised it and got arrested. If he didn’t grab her arm she would have stabbed him. He had to get a lawyer to drop the charges for using excessive force. She got hokey Anger Management Classes that didn’t work.
I just have to get this out of my system and point out that what the Divine Ms. K. does in that video is child’s play compared to what I have endured in my marriage.
Anyway, kudos to Dr. Drew. Yes, he slips up slightly when he fails to recognize Kris Humphries’ grabbing of her arms as self-defense. Even law enforcement know that. When the police get a domestic violence call from a woman, and the only “injury” she can show are his finger marks around her wrists, they know that the marks were caused by him trying to get her to stop hitting him.
With the preponderance of “women behaving badly” reality TV shows (the Kardashians, the Real Housewives of East Buttfuck, etc.) out there, hopefully some good will come out in the form of increased public awareness of female-perpetrated domestic violence.
Okay, maybe not. Sigh….
No way…no how. Cops WILL NOT “know” the marks on her arm/wrists are from her restraining him. All she has to do is say the man came home, flipped out, and started grabbing her by the arms or wrists. You dodge her blows…DO NOT touch her, and walk away for good. It IS the only option! Unless of course you have witnesses or some type of surveilance.
I meant HIM restraining HER..
I’m afraid that women behaving badly on TV will not increase public awareness of female domestic violence. I think it will only continue to culturally legitimize it as it has thus far.
I really hope that I’m wrong and you’re right, though, Verbal.
I hate Dr. Phil.
Oprah is the antichrist.
Seconded.
Ditto on the Hate on Dr. Phil. He’s a douche and should NOT be doling out life advice to anyone, much less all of Oprah’s largely brain dead target market.
Amen, Micksbabe! For those of us that have been in real therapy, Dr. Phil reeks of Oprah-ism. His crap sells well among the brain-dead who watch TV at midday. It pains me to say that they’re mostly females that have nothing going in their disgustingly empty lives. They’re a trashy target market who can consume Oprah, Dr. Phil and the Kardashians in equal measure. Yuck!
I do to. I used to watch his show to study his psychopathology. Then one day, my Irish Dander kicked in because he started nailing someone who was so weak that I literally couldn’t sit in my own living room and do nothing. He completely overpowered this woman. I got up and called The California Board of Psychologists to file a complaint. Well Mr. Shady Past and Slippery Feet doesn’t hold a license because he is covered under Media Psychology where ever that is. I didn’t bother writing his network because I have no doubt that there are legal loopholes for his circus.
I researched the allegation about him sexually abusing his Secretary. I have to say that given his complete disregard for others most of the time, shady business dealings, multiple extramarital affairs in his first marriage and his spoiled brat ways,I believe that it is probably true. He never discusses any of it either.
As far as Oprah goes, she had pseudo scientific shrinks, junk scientists or New Age gurus on. Then she preached that “we” shouldn’t judge. If she wants to shut off her critical thinking go for it. If she wants to put her life in danger then do it, but don’t preach about your philosophical or religious beliefs and dummy people up. The road to hell is often paved with good intentions. If these people are so good at what they do, then why have people died or been killed using these beliefs?
Check this out…
http://drphilsucks.com/
i don’t live in the USA and had not heard of this show until now. the thing is, it’s possible the event was staged like “wouldn’t it be cool if i threw a punch at you?” but i don’t know.
she, however, seriously threw her punch.
when my wife hit me, she did the same thing. but her punches landed on my face. i am also trained in the martial arts, and this fella, whether he’s trained or not, shows skills at being able to block punches. basically, my “soft techniques” have waned since i haven’t been training for a while. after my wife attacked me, i realized that had i thrown a block, i would have broken her arm. i would have gone to jail. it was my self preservation instinct (and also just being frozen by disbelief that my wife would actually attack me) that kept me from doing anything at all.
my wife did not have a weapon. what if she had?
this fella, Kris, does a very good job of subduing the attacker. he might want to keep his fingers a bit looser.
the scary thing is, it would have been very easy for him to step out of the way and put her on the ground using the energy of her punch. but then, she might have hurt herself and he would have been “charged” with pushing her down.
so, men need to a) defend themselves b) defend themselves without leaving a scratch or mark on women, or like i did c) just let themselves be attacked and call the cops when she’s done.
during c, you might be able to yell or say “HEY, you just punched me!” which might cause her to go cry in the bedroom or cease her attack. or say you’re sorry. or do and say whatever incredibly demeaning and humiliating thing you need to say or do to save your life and then call the cops.
but there she is screaming “i want to know her NAME!” and you’re like “whose name?” “HER NAME!” and you are like: “please tell me whose name.” she’s like “your LOVER g*dd*mmit, your LOVERRRR!” and you’re like “i am not having an a…” ATTACK
i think learning verbal defense tactics could help:
the man yells: SIT DOWN NOW!
or he wimpers: i don’t deserve you, you are so cool!
or he says: you are RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!
he can also say something confusing like: let’s just go out to dinner.
i mean anything to have her stop punching.
then pack your bags and the kids and leave.
interesting though, how the “let’s just go out to dinner” solution, before she gets violent — becomes kind of a “relationship habit.” you see she is about to go off her rocker. you pacify her before she even gets angry.
at the core of this issue is also: what is violence? what are predators? when is violence ok? do we get to attack people in foreign countries? do we get to kill people as a nation? even: is killing animals ok? what is hunting? how does nature work?
I find a lot of what you say interesting and that it would probably work in some instances and prove to be true. I have to disagree on the men letting themselves get attacked. A lot of BPD’s like to go after people with knives, nails etc. Plus, it reinforces their crazy behavior as being okay on some level and their delusion of power.
i’m not sure if it is a delusion of power. women can get away with it.
anon.father, you raise a number of interesting points of view
You come from a martial artist / self-defence background as I do, and many of your questions have popped up in my head several times.
thnx both B Experienced and AussieLola. now that i have separated from my wife, when she is with the kids, i am completely powerless to protect them. it is awful.
You bet your credibility it’s domestic violence. And Kris attempting to restrain her is DEFINITELY not “domestic violence.” If Kris decided to take a right hook to her bazillion-dollar dental work, I’d say yes, that’s domestic violence. But there’s no right hook on his part involved, and I certainly wouldn’t encourage or condone it.
I have to agree with Dr. Drew: I don’t think the law makes a distinction for “just playing,” but we all know the only domestic violence committed by women is in self-defense.
And don’t forget, Mike, every woman is a goddess and every man must lie on the ground at her feet in humility and remorse.
Has anyone ever seen this bit of Crazy from the “Manifesto of Conscious Men?” I still haven’t been able to sit all the way through it.
In a word CREEPY PEOPLE. Are they former Moonies. They look like their Cerebral Cortex connections are cut off from Thought Reform tactics.
SOL (Snorted Out Loud).
I don’t know, BE. I did wonder if some of the apologists in the video are paid actors, though.
I see your point, but then all con men are actors.
Whatever they happen to be, no self-respecting woman can buy their crap. Only a Cluster B numbskull can.
Okay, I got all of 26 seconds into that before I started feeling nauseous.
Will Ferrell (aka Ron Burgundy) did a video response to it that may be more to your liking:
I actually thought the original was a SNL skit at first, but no.
i could not watch the whole men at the feet of women thing, but i did watch the will ferrell version, it was funny, but they could do a better job if they let us help with the script.
i came across this though: http://youtu.be/C5Pb8HRhuFI and it is very funny. it also shows these “conscious men” as being horrifically overpowered by women who are “portrayed” as controlling and domineering.
dr. T, would you write the script for the “apology” that all western men need to hear from women? could you do that?
dear man:
we, as western women, apologize for verbally, emotionally, and physically abusing you, mostly behind closed doors, where we could get away with it. we apologize for the constant choas and our incessant jealousy because of course you are not having an affair, i’m just saying that to see if you’ll get mad, and then if you get mad i can call the police and take all your stuff. i mean, i’m kind of sorry, but basically, if you could slap, kick and beat the sh*t out of some man, then take his kids away from him and then take 50% of his current and future assets? what would you do? oh, back to the sorry part: F u men, we own you!
hmmm — that one isn’t bad.
Who writes this crap? I can’t believe I watched the whole thing.
Thanks for the chuckles, T. B)
WTF?
I’m going to go drink some old scotch I have. Clean a variety of firearms I own. Get my deer tag…even though I haven’t hunted in years. Tune up my tractor. Split some firewood. I fixed stuff around the house. I’ll read some Kipling. I just downloaded MW3 and will enjoy that. I LIKE driving fast cars that corner like they are on rails. I’ll teach my kids to shoot, drive fast cars and fly and jump out of perfectly good airplanes. I can even be angry and not break or kill things. I’ll go visit my Mom’s grave. I’ll call my Dad just to say hi. I’ll even bake and cook stuff because I enjoy it. I feel no need to “get in touch with the feminine” anything.
I will not allow these not-men to dictate my life, how I raise my kids, what I think, how I think it, how I feel or whether or not I’m angry.
These useless not-men (I won’t dignify their position by insulting them)are the first ones to scream for help when something goes wrong. Then a MAN has to show up and fix it.
I managed to watch the whole thing…I’ve had to sit through DV training and it was eerily similar.
Apologies for the rant. But the scotch was good.
funny how i like a lot of “man” things (like motorcycles and football), but i also like a lot of “girl” things, like music and writing poetry. i also like making great food.
i also like having a daughter and picking out clothes she likes with her because i often felt limited as a man regarding my expression of fashion. not that i want to go around dressed like lady gaga or boy george, but my STBX did stuff like
HER: hey honey, should i wear A or B?
ME: you know i kind of like A, but you could switch ou…
HER: THANKS, now i know to wear B, because you have no sense of style
so, coming into my own regarding clothing actually makes sense to me.
and well: fashion is for girls right?
i’m not going to start reading fashion magazines, i can tell you that. but i’m also not going to only enjoy things that are sharp, dangerous, or spit oil, just because that’s something men are “supposed” to like.
these “conscious men” could go ahead and migrate “up” a level or two and just become conscious souls. they could have women apologize for what they feel women need to apologize for, they could have men apologize for what they feel men need to apologize for (as genders).
if it actually got “real” it would be profound.
So we have a documented domestic assault – where are the police and the appropriate charges?
Good question, Lebrocq. Especially since Kim accused her other ex-husband, Damon Thomas, of DV. If he did hit her, and I find anything she has to say very dubious, I wonder which one of them hit first?
A whole lot of talk and no action. That bothers a lot too.